Below is a forwarded email that I received from my mom, “Momma Dunn.”
I couldn’t have written them better myself, so I thought I would pass them along. Enjoy.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood..
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection, again.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the ‘phone and run away?
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people’s ‘phone numbers in my ‘phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
- I wonder if cops ever get upset at the fact that everyone that drives behind them obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.