Monthly Archives: November 2009

Compliments of Momma Dunn: Part Two

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In an email my classy eccentric mother sent to me earlier in the week entitled “Emergency Flu Mask”, I found the following picture…

I can only imagine that the thong version would as uncomfortable as it would be ineffective.

Happy Holidays everyone! Stay safe and healthy… whatever that means.

To No Missed Opportunities

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You know the saying “life’s too short”? Well, my friend Jourdan and I have decided that we don’t want to say that and mean it.  We don’t want to say it  because we missed out on once-in-a-lifetime chances; we don’t want to say that we turned down opportunities for adventure and excitement all because we were a little scared or unsure of what the end result may be.

My dad once said that he had not regrets, only lessons learned. Personally, I think that’s a brilliant perspective, and I’ve decided to adopt that motto for myself (thank Daddy)–I don’t want to regret anything, but I don’t want to be afraid to learn a lesson or two the hard way either.  In my relatively short stint on earth thus far, going on 24 years, I have come to the conclusion that life isn’t really life, that is to say it’s not being lived fully alive, if you don’t mess up time and again; if  you don’t go out on a limb and take a chance, if you play it safe and never risk anything.

What I seem to be discovering is that if you never wager anything (i.e. time, comfort, relationships, etc.) you may never come to know the true depth, meaning, and worth of what it is that you gain.  Even if when you come to the end of some journey suddenly or sadly, I would still be willing to bet that you either learned something invaluable along the way or were changed for the better because of it.  Isn’t that the point behind anything anyways?

Not to be overly simplistic or cliché, but I truly believe that every breath and step taken is purposed for the glory and praise of God–and if that is the case–it is or will be good. It has to be, because He is good, so all that He does and ordains and orchestrates must follow suit.

So what am I writing this out? Why am I saying any of this?

I have no idea really… just thought I would. That’s the beauty of a blog.

*ahem* Attention Men…

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Why do y’all not think before you speak? Seriously? Do you not have a filter? Let me give you a helpful hint…

Stop asking stupid questions.

Let me give you a two fantastically awful examples of what those might be.

This weekend I was out with my lovely friend Jourdan.  It’s been months since we had gone out on the town for a “shwanky” dinner to celebrate the success of another work week.  One of our major motivations behind such celebrations is simply because… we can. We’re young, employed, and not nailed down, I mean married.  The world is our oyster.  Adventure is at our fingertips. There are cute outfits to be worn and shoes to be danced in.

This particular weekend was met with, how shall we say, particularly unintelligent boys.

The first “winner” made a typical approach–he pretended to bump into my elbow, leaned unnecessarily close to apologize, then asked what I was drinking.  Geez. Way to be Bond. Very stealthy… only not.

While intruding my personal space, he asked where I was from.

“Texas” I replied dryly.

“Oh really? So you’re Mexican?” I thought you looked Hispanic.” He said proudly.

*blank stare*….. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re Mexican right? Clearly you’re Hispanic.”

“…..No….” I turned around and waited for him to get the clue.

Next up, the gold medalist in the event of absolutely disastrous and fowl one-liners.

As Jourdan and I sat talking to one another, I noticed a guy standing close to her I thought that I heard him breathing.  He was staring at me.  Not moving. Not talking. Just standing. Staring.

Finally, he leaned over Jourdan, looked at me with an attempted squinty-eyed sultry look and asked…

“Excuse me, but are you wearing a bath robe?”

“Uhhhh…. WHAT?”

“Well, it looks like you are wearing a bathrobe… are you not?”

“No, definitely not.” I held up the hem of my sweater and said “See? It’s a short sweater.”

I will admit I was more than a little peeved because I had JUST BOUGHT that sweater that  night for the very reason of going out in something new.

So, the moral of the story is this: Men–please, for the love of all that is good and holy, think before you ask ridiculous questions.

 

 

Why Grocery Shopping Killed My Self-Esteem

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You know it’s funny, I love grocery shopping because I love food to cook.  I voluntarily roam every isle in no particular order, searching for no particular thing–I’ll buy or try just about anything.  I can spend inordinate amounts of time on any isle, reading labels, considering recipes, and walking by the sample trays…. more than once.  And I derive immeasurable joy from it all.

Until tonight.

Want to know what killed it for me? The “Super-Single-Shopping-Cart.”

 

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Nothing screams "I'm REALLY single!" quite like this

 

Let’s just be honest… it is brutally obvious when you’re pushing this beast around that you are shopping for one; cooking for one.  As if that doesn’t cross your mind when you are getting a half-dozen eggs instead of a full dozen.

As I wandered through Whole Foods tonight, getting the half-size options for all my food selections, I realized that some marketing person, somewhere, had a really sick sense of humor when they made these little carts that hold little more than a couple of apples and a block of cheese.

The one and only upside to this misery is that, due to its lack of space, you get to legitimately use the “Less than 12 items” check-out lane.

True Love

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I love music. A lot.

I love music that truly says something; inspires and wells up within me a hope, a vision, and passion for something bigger than myself.

Phil Wickham’s songs do it. Bandon Heath’s music does it. Bebo Norman. Shane & Shane. The list is endless.

Here’s just a taste of what I mean.

And in case you can’t hear every word… read it.

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven’s Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can’t deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven’s Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died

Come close listen to the story

A Gentle Reminder

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How deep the Father’s love for us,cross
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turned His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom