Why do y’all not think before you speak? Seriously? Do you not have a filter? Let me give you a helpful hint…
Stop asking stupid questions.
Let me give you a two fantastically awful examples of what those might be.
This weekend I was out with my lovely friend Jourdan. It’s been months since we had gone out on the town for a “shwanky” dinner to celebrate the success of another work week. One of our major motivations behind such celebrations is simply because… we can. We’re young, employed, and not nailed down, I mean married. The world is our oyster. Adventure is at our fingertips. There are cute outfits to be worn and shoes to be danced in.
This particular weekend was met with, how shall we say, particularly unintelligent boys.
The first “winner” made a typical approach–he pretended to bump into my elbow, leaned unnecessarily close to apologize, then asked what I was drinking. Geez. Way to be Bond. Very stealthy… only not.
While intruding my personal space, he asked where I was from.
“Texas” I replied dryly.
“Oh really? So you’re Mexican?” I thought you looked Hispanic.” He said proudly.
*blank stare*….. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You’re Mexican right? Clearly you’re Hispanic.”
“…..No….” I turned around and waited for him to get the clue.
Next up, the gold medalist in the event of absolutely disastrous and fowl one-liners.
As Jourdan and I sat talking to one another, I noticed a guy standing close to her I thought that I heard him breathing. He was staring at me. Not moving. Not talking. Just standing. Staring.
Finally, he leaned over Jourdan, looked at me with an attempted squinty-eyed sultry look and asked…
“Excuse me, but are you wearing a bath robe?”
“Well, it looks like you are wearing a bathrobe… are you not?”
“No, definitely not.” I held up the hem of my sweater and said “See? It’s a short sweater.”
I will admit I was more than a little peeved because I had JUST BOUGHT that sweater that night for the very reason of going out in something new.
So, the moral of the story is this: Men–please, for the love of all that is good and holy, think before you ask ridiculous questions.