Maybe his eye sight was going bad.
Maybe he was just that tired. After all, it was an early flight.
Maybe his gold chain necklace was cutting off blood flow to his brain.
Either way, the “old man creeper” (OMC) that sat next to meet on my recent flight home on an unfortunately small aircraft, made the blog which means, he said something really stupid. Here’s how it went down.
I was flying out of Denver Tuesday morning at a blistering 8:00AM, which means that I had to wake up at 4:30AM. Now I am a morning person and I know that I am obnoxiously chatting at sun-up, but even I have my limits.
As I boarded the plane to make my way to Austin (aka home) I prayed “Lord, please let me sit next to someone interesting.”
As I took my aisle seat, the eyes of an older gentleman gazed up at me and held my glance.
Huh… not what I had in mind Lord; I was hoping for a younger model.
He pulled out his earphone, “Hey, how’s it going.”
Oh no, he’s a talker.
“Fine, thank you.” I replied as dryly and politely as possible.
Let me help you envision this winner. Picture this: Grey hair slicked back; button down shirt with too many buttons not doing their job; gold watch, gold bracelet, gold wedding ring complete with diamond, and a gold chain necklace that looked tangled in… well … connect the dots. The icing on this inglorious cake was his overstuffed leather jacket.
As he took up most of the arm rest, he started to fiddle with his collar. I glanced over.
“Wow… it is warm in here, or is it just sitting next to you?” *insert creepy smile*
*blank stare* Please God tell me I hallucinated.
“Um well,” I stammered, “We have yet to take off so the air hasn’t kicked on.” I reached up to mess with the AC nozzle, contemplating throwing an elbow in the way of his nose by “accident.”
“Oh, I thought it was just sitting next to you.” *insert same creepy smile*
Holy crap! Repeating? Really? I’m not old enough to be deaf, thank you very much!
I had no choice but to chuckle to myself as I started flipping through my magazine to drop the hint that I wasn’t interested in men his age because I preferred my purse as an accessory as opposed to his oxygen tank.
Needless to say, the rest of the flight was smooth and quiet. Moral of the story: be careful what you pray for. God has a sense of humor too.