Lighten Up, Will Ya

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Time for some quick comedic relief.  An entertaining way to remember that hey, life is short and it ain’t that bad in the long run.

So the next time you find yourself being hit on (for me it’s once in a blue moon, during the winter solstice, on a leap year), remember these handy little liners:

HE : Can I buy you a drink?                                               

SHE : Actually I’d rather have the money.                                 

HE : I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.         

SHE : I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.     

HE : Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?                    

SHE : Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.             

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?                                   

SHE : I must’ve been given your share.                                    

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?                               

SHE : Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.                          

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.                                     

SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.                             

HE : Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out.                                     

SHE : Okay, get out.                                                       

HE : I think I could make you very happy.                                 

SHE : Why? Are you leaving?                                               

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?                       

SHE : Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.                   

HE : Can I have your name?                                                

SHE : Why? Don’t you already have one?                                    

HE : Shall we go see a movie?                                             

SHE : I’ve already seen it.                                               

HE : Where have you been all my life?                                     

SHE : Hiding from you.                                                    

HE : Haven’t I seen you some place before?                                

SHE : Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.                           

HE : Is this seat empty?                                                   

SHE : Yes, and I want  to be empty, so leave.                             

HE : So, what do you do for a living?                                     

SHE : I’m a female impersonator.                                          

HE : Hey baby, what’s your sign?                                          

SHE : Do not enter.                                                        

HE : Your body is like a temple.                                          

SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.                                  

HE : If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.                             

SHE : If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

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About mndunn26

I recently realized that my life is somewhat of a beautiful mess. A "pollack-type-picture" if you will, of colors, experiences, and people that, despite the seeming disarray, is captivating & confusing; patterened & yet unpredictable. But most of all, it is mysteriously designed, purposed, and appointed. For what? I don't know yet... but I'm learning as I go.

One response »

  1. LOL

    I want someone to make a movie like “Paris Je T’Aime”, but instead of having love scenes, do pick up lines. Some would work, some would not; some would be smooth, some horribly awkward. It would bring tears of both laughter and sorrow, and it would probably only be 30 minutes long, haha.

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