I don’t know that I have ever “dedicated” a blog to a certain group of people, but there’s a first time for everything. This blog is dedicated to all of you are married. If you are single, I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions of what is about to follow.
I have an incredible circle of girlfriends whom I “do life” with here in Colorado. We’re college grads, working professionals, self-declared hysterical, lovers of Jesus… and super single. We range from mid to late twenties and have all been in our fair share of weddings as bridesmaids. Here’s the catch– we’re all a little scared to get married.
Why? Well it’s surprisingly simple: married folk that we know, both young and old, often leave out the “pros” of this God-ordained institution, and instead dwell on the “cons.”
“It’s a four letter word– w-o-r-k.” “It’s not easy and it’s not always fun but your committed so you have to persevere through it.” “There are so many things you can do when you are single that you can not when you are married. Go out while you still can! Live it up! Travel! Don’t rush it… trust me, forever is a long time.”
All reasons that would make a single man or woman think twice about entering into such a dreary and burdensome relationship, if you ask me. To be honest, these testimonies are all turn-offs to what, for so many us, we were made for. My friends and I talk frequently about how painfully aware we are (more so the older we get) of our intrinsic desire to be wives; to be help-mates to husbands that encourage, protect and lead us during our time on this side of heaven.
Is it not an incredibly romantic idea? Is it not lovely? Good? Pure? Holy? Honorable? YES.
What’s more, if I may so bold, it is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with His own bride, the Church. Us. To be married, if Christ be paramount in the life of the man and woman, is to know, understand, and see God in a new, clearer light of love, sacrifice, beauty, and intimacy.
Granted, I know (not from personal experience) that marriage will not look like, feel like, or sound like that on a daily basis. And that’s fine. That’s life. It leaves room for grace, forgiveness, patience, and a slew of other fruits of the Holy Spirit that resonate with us to draw us closer to the Father, and to your spouse. Right?
I mean, am I taking crazy pills? Is there something that I am missing? I understand that you are pairing two fallen, sinful, deprave human beings together and asking them to be productive and fruitful, and that in and of itself presents a number of hiccups or speed bumps. But does it make impossible? Does it make it miserable? Does it make it not worth it?
I pray that, if you are married, you don’t hesitate to answer those questions. I hope that the answer is a quick “no.”
Here’s the thing– for us singles, we need to hear, see, and be encouraged to know that it is possible. It is worth it. It is beautiful and lovely and blessed. Married men and women need to advocate for their marriages as well as the marriages of future generations. Despite what you may think, we listen closely and carefully. We are more attentive that we look, but we are paying attention to what you say about your marriage and how you say it. And from you, we render our opinions on whether or not we can do it too.
So if you are married– be grateful that you are and let us share in that joy with you.
If you are a single woman– you are not alone.
If you are single man– my number is … haha, kidding.