I often make myself the butt of my own jokes; I have a very self-deprecating sense of humor. But the fact of the matter is that I have A LOT of material to work with due, in large part, to my impressive lack of rational. My logic tends to be completely illogical. Practicality is a spiritual gift I simply don’t possess.
Today, for instance, is a pretty perfect example.
For some unknown reason, my hips have been hurting lately. Sitting. Standing. Walking. They ache.
So while driving to work this morning, I decided that it would be best to make a doctor’s appointment. Then I started to prepare myself for receiving a diagnosis that I had bone cancer. How would I break the news to my folks? They’d be crushed. But they’d still have my brother and his lovely wife who is expecting. So really, it’s like a wash.
About 5 seconds later, I sneezed and it was incredibly painful.
Oh no! My stomach hurts when I sneeze! As I put my hand on my stomach, I found it was sensitive and bulging slightly. Oh my word! I think I have a tumor! Unfortunately, I didn’t recall, in that moment, that I had gone to
hell an exercise class with my friend on Saturday that had culminated with ab workouts I haven’t done since high school. Nor did I recount the banana nut muffin I enjoyed last night while at bible study, which I confident now accounted for the bulge.
As I parked my car and began walking into my office, I thanked God for the privilege that it had been to work for Compassion, for even a short while. Then I began to think about all the things I hadn’t done yet; the things I had placed on my “bucket list.”
Writing a book was the first thing that came to mind. By the time I got to my desk I had settled that I would write my book from my hospital bed. Shortly after my passing, I would be awarded a Pulitzer, posthumously, and I would have the prize money donated to Compassion International.
This was my thought process leading up to 7:15 AM. Scary, ain’t it?
I emailed my mother about my mind’s adventures and her reply was simply: “Start saving for a therapist.”