10 Minutes in My Mind

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I often make myself the butt of my own jokes; I have a very self-deprecating sense of humor.  But the fact of the matter is that I have A LOT of material to work with due, in large part, to my impressive lack of rational. My logic tends to be completely illogical. Practicality is a spiritual gift I simply don’t possess.

Today, for instance, is a pretty perfect example.

For some unknown reason, my hips have been hurting lately. Sitting. Standing. Walking. They ache.

So while driving to work this morning, I decided that it would be best to make a doctor’s appointment.  Then I started to prepare myself for receiving a diagnosis that I had bone cancer.  How would I break the news to my folks?  They’d be crushed. But they’d still have my brother and his lovely wife who is expecting.  So really, it’s like a wash.

About 5 seconds later, I sneezed and it was incredibly painful. 

Oh no! My stomach hurts when I sneeze!   As I put my hand on my stomach, I found it was sensitive and bulging slightly.  Oh my word! I think I have a tumor! Unfortunately, I didn’t recall, in that moment, that I had gone to hell an exercise class with my friend on Saturday that had culminated with ab workouts I haven’t done since high school. Nor did I recount the banana nut muffin I enjoyed last night while at bible study, which I confident now accounted for the bulge.

As I parked my car and began walking into my office, I thanked God for the privilege that it had been to work for Compassion, for even a short while.  Then I began to think about all the things I hadn’t done yet; the things I had placed on my “bucket list.”

Writing a book was the first thing that came to mind. By the time I got to my desk I had settled that I would write my book from my hospital bed.  Shortly after my passing, I would be awarded a Pulitzer, posthumously, and I would have the prize money donated to Compassion International.

This was my thought process leading up to 7:15 AM.  Scary, ain’t it?

 I emailed my mother about my mind’s adventures and her reply was simply: “Start saving for a therapist.”

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About mndunn26

I recently realized that my life is somewhat of a beautiful mess. A "pollack-type-picture" if you will, of colors, experiences, and people that, despite the seeming disarray, is captivating & confusing; patterened & yet unpredictable. But most of all, it is mysteriously designed, purposed, and appointed. For what? I don't know yet... but I'm learning as I go.

10 responses »

  1. You and I resonate at a cosmic level. I think it is the way we think. I Constantly think in the terms of what if’s and how comes. It is funny, imaginative, and down right scarry if any of it actually would happen.

    Grace to you friend. May your hips just need some yoga, and your belly digest and may you live to be a healthy 110!

  2. I laughed outloud when I read this…..If worry burns calories the banana nut muffin is history! Your imagination is clearly in need of an outlet…a book sounds perfect….I am guessing a sad story? That of course will be bought and turned into a Hallmark Movie.

  3. I’m going to miss you Meredith! Would you write me a few letters before you go and have someone mail them to me every now and then!

    Seriously cracked me up!

  4. I’m gonna be smart and say no comment. Oh who am I kidding? This is SO Meredith! Haha. I agree with Mama Dunn. Therapy can get expensive especially if you need one on call 24-7. Which you will. You never fail to make me smile. Love you and your neurotic tendencies.

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