There once was an old man who owned a jewelry store in Whitefish, Montana.
One bright, sunny, summer day an unsuspecting young woman (*pointing to self* me… I’m talking about me) walked into his store, drawn to large stones that shined in the window.
As she pressed her nose against the glass cases to see the diamonds up close, he sauntered towards her.
“You from ’round here?” he asked dryly.
Startled, she looked up and politely shook her head, no.
Again, she shook her head and began glancing over her shoulder to find the closest exit.
“Well,” he began, “stick with me kid and I’ll have you wearing diamonds bigger than horse-turds.”
And she blankly stared back at him, bile rising in the back of her throat, she excused herself from the store and decided that no diamond would ever be big enough to compensate for a general lack of tact.
Your turn! Let’s hear ’em. The worst pick-up lines.