Over ‘n Out

I’m taking a break. Signing off.

Because I think I have a real problem; I think I might be slightly addicted.

To Facebook… and Twitter.

I truly never thought I would be the person that needed to “fast” from those things– those social media sites that are completely inanimate objects; lifeless potholes to meaningless information about utterly irrelevant things that primarily revolve around self.

But alas, here I am.  Taking a large step back in order to reevaluate how I spend my time, my energy, my effort and trying to determine just where I derive my personal hope, self-worth, and intrinsic-value.  As it stands now, I must admit that Twitter and Facebook have dominated most of these areas as of late. 

While I am embarrassed to admit that I am not strong enough to limit myself and instead need complete and total separation from these things, I am overwhelmingly grateful for two things:

1. The awareness of the toxicity of these outlets.  Not to say that they are inherently evil, but that they can be used and abused, manipulated and misconstrued to be bigger and better than they truly are

2. That my sweet friend Amye is doing this with me; because the reality is, I’m not strong enough to do this on my own.  More importantly, I don’t want to do it on my own.  Perhaps it’s my pride, but I don’t want to be the only one that really needs to do this. So thank you Amye.

So here’s the deal– Amye and I are fasting from Facebook (and Twitter too for me) for the month of June.  No checking newsfeeds. No status updating.  No “relationship status” stalking.

Why? Because I feel like I am going crazy.  And as it turns, I don’t like that feeling. 

So for all the time that I spend on Facebook and Twitter, I am going to spend it elsewhere.  Memorizing scripture, reading books, playing outside, and hopefully writing more here. 

My prayer for this next month is simple– God show me where my worth and value lie; show me how much more satisfying you are than a network of (let’s face it) mostly strangers that don’t see my heart the way You do.  Break off chains of insecurities that have taken deep root where they don’t belong and replace them with the fruits of Your Spirit so that I stop speaking in acronyms (i.e. OMG) and start speaking in truth with grace. 

Amen.

June… you don’t scare me.

“Bless Your Beautiful Hide”

My all time favorite musical (technically tied for first with The Sound of Music) is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

I owe my appreciation of musicals to my dad.  I wouldn’t know what a “classic” was unless he took the time to watch them with me. He could name nearly every actor and would tell me about the when he watched it for the first time– where he was, how old he was, and who he was with.  What’s even more impressive, he could sing every song. 

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is the one, of the plethora, that has stuck with me.  There are countless songs and scenes that need to be watched by all.  But, there is one that is epic. The barn-dance scene. 

Please note three very imporant things–(1) Benjamin, the brother in the orange shirt is the one I wanted to marry and (2) I secretly wished I could dance like this and (3) I always wanted one of this puffy dresses.

Inspiration from the “Peak”

"I am doing a new thing... do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18

Spring is slowly but surely

winning everyday’s battle;

Chasing winter’s cold darkness

with its’ warm light.

Trees are remembering their color,

flowers are awakening their scent.

Buds are blossoming with boldness

and breezes bring refreshing breaths.

All that lay dormant before is arising,

Bringing sure promises of hope, newness and life.

 

Faith is slowly but surely

winning everyday’s battle.

Chasing every lies’ darkness

with its’ marvelous truth and light.

My spirit is remembering His Word

and His Word is awakening my spirit.

Love is blooming new boldness

and His breath brings renewed light.

All that lay dormant in me before is arising,

Brining sure promises of hope, newness and life.

Divine Romance

I’m not cool. 

I only say that because I go on long walks all by myself for hours at a time, skipping and frolicking about whilst listening to music that I may or may not sing out loud as I pass by innocent people working in their lawns.  Truly.

What is  cool though is how much the Lord meets me there on the pavement; right in the middle of the sidewalk, He whispers my name and takes my hand.

I literally stopped dead in my tracks yesterday as I passed by a recently blossomed crape myrtle. I love crape myrtles and there was a row of 5 of them that lined someone’s fence.  Each was a different, vibrant color and each had their own unique aroma. I couldn’t help myself but to touch each pedal and  smell each bud.

The newness of each blossom made them soft and supple; bright and radiant as the sun showed through them, revealing all the little lifelines breathing vitality into each new pedal. 

Then I came to the last tree with nearly bursting buds, but no blossoms.  They simply weren’t ready yet.  They were still developing– perfecting their pigments and making fresh the fragrance that they would soon release. 

I started to tear up as the imagery resonated with my soul— I’m still just a bud.  Nothing was wrong with that last crape myrtle– it was tall, strong, and healthy.  It was planted in the same soil.  It was watered the same way its’ friends were.  Its’ flowers were still just “in the works.” It will, soon too I think, blossom.  It will radiate the same beauty, just in its own way.  It will release an intoxicating fragrance that will renew and refresh all who pass by.  It’s pedals will be soft and supple, they will be welcoming to gentle touches.  It will serve it’s purpose.  It will be beautiful the way it was created to be. 

I closed my eyes in that moment as I prayed a simple little prayer, “Lord, let me be like this tree.”  As I stood there (probably looking like someone who had escaped the local mental institution) with my eyes closed, the sun sat softly on my eyelids and the breeze rustled the limbs above my head, tickling my imagination with shadows of things to come.

One of the inspiring influences of this moment of divine romance is in part due to Dave Barnes and his killer new album “What We Want, What We Get.”  I highly recommend you get yourself a copy.

One of his songs I repeated… a lot.  It’s called “God Gave Me You.” And while it paints a beautiful picture of a man who is given a wife that truly helps him become the hero he is meant to be, I couldn’t help but hear my heart sing the same song back the Lord. I just changed the lyrics a wee bit. Sorry Dave.

The chorus goes like this:

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

As I listened to the song seemingly endlessly, I sang this:

God gave me truth for the ups and downs

God gave me faith for the days of doubt

And when I think I’ve lost my way

When I have no words left to say; You do

God gave me truth.

 

Is it cheesy? Heck yeah… but that’s how I roll.

Here’s a look and listen at the real deal. Take it away Mr. Barnes…

The “Harm”

Confession– I tried eHarmony. For about six months.

And I only did it because, as  it turned out, it wasn’t just for freaky-deaky, socially awkward, used-to-be-homeschoolers.  I found out that a lot of my friends were on it and were enjoying their “results” shall we say.  So I gave it a go.

Turns out the world of “eHarmon-izers” is really small. 

I went to the movies on Friday night with two friends of mine from Bible study.  As we were standing in line to get our tickets, I glanced behind me and spotted a young man that was looking at me, or so I thought. 

Huh… he looks really familiar. Why?  Another glance confirmed it. He was my first eHarmony date.

As I chuckled to myself, I told my friends that I had a funny story for them but that we needed to get into the theater first.

As we walked into lobby, Lindsay exclaimed, “OMG y’all, I went out with that guy last week.”

“Which one?” we asked.  Lindsay pointed. 

She pointed to the same guy I went out with.  “Um.. are you on eHarmony?” I asked her.

“Yeah… we went out last week.”

“Welp,” I said, “I went out with him too… in September!  And he told me that he was cancelling his subscription! LIES!  So, how did it go?”

“Not well,” she remarked dryly, “I couldn’t get him to talk!”

“That’s ironic,” I said. “I couldn’t get him to shut up.  Maybe we should start a support group.  I’m sure there are many more just like us out there.”